


Saeran's Funk

by Elvendara



Series: Yooran Extras [3]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mention of Death, Yooran
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 11:40:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18590536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvendara/pseuds/Elvendara





	Saeran's Funk

Saeran gritted his teeth, wringing his hands. He just wanted to be alone but Yoosung wouldn’t take the hint. He never did. Saeran could be more forceful, more direct, but that always led to Yoosung fighting back tears, a hurt look on his face. Saeran hated himself for that look but when he felt like this, even Yoosung’s feelings weren’t high on his priority list.

He tried, he really did. Letting the anxiety fill him and trying to make excuses to be alone. It didn’t always work. Today it most definitely wasn’t working.

“You should wear this shirt. The color brings out your eyes. Oh, wait, no, wear this one! Hmm, maybe this one? What do you think?” Yoosung blathered on.

“Doesn’t matter, I don’t care, just pick one.” He fought the urge to yank the shirts out of Yoosung’s hands and fling them away. He closed his eyes and prayed for the blonde to just go away before he said or did something he would regret. When he opened his eyes, he could see the pain in Yoosung’s eyes. He gritted his teeth and looked away, it was too late. Too late for Yoosung not to feel the full sting of his depression.

Yoosung hung the shirts back in the closet and turned, leaning against the closet door. Saeran could feel his eyes on him. He fidgeted uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. Why couldn’t he just tell Yoosung he didn’t feel like going to the movies and leave it at that? He sighed heavily, knowing full well that even if he did, Yoosung wouldn’t listen. It was aggravating but part of him cherished that very characteristic of the man. No matter how much he pushed him away, Yoosung never wavered. As soon as he thought about that an onslaught of guilt washed over him for putting Yoosung through these moods.

Yoosung studied the man’s face. He looked miserable and agitated. He wanted to wrap the older man in his arms and comfort him. At times like this however, he knew it would be the wrong move. Saeran wouldn’t appreciate being touched, in fact, he would react negatively, so much so that he could become violent. It would be so much easier to leave and let the episode play itself out, but that wouldn’t help Saeran. Whether the man admitted it or not, he needed Yoosung. Needed someone not to leave when he pushed them away. It made Yoosung sad, but he understood.

Saeran was dangerous if left alone in this state as well sometimes. He tended to do stupid and dangerous things to himself. If it meant suffering a little, then suffer he would for the man he loved.

“Ok, we don’t have to go out. We can stay in if you want.” He tried to make his voice lighthearted, knowing full well that Saeran was going to answer with something snarky.

“Whatever.” Saeran answered irritably, turning away from the blonde. He couldn’t stand the look he knew Yoosung was now wearing. But he couldn’t help himself. His memories were all acrambled again. Thoughts of Saeyoung made him angry. Logically he knew they were false memories, lies that were fed to him through a haze of brainwashing and drugs. But they were still so strong. The pain was excruciating, the chaos in his brain bursting to get out! A muffled scream hissed out between his teeth as his palms pressed against his temples, trying to keep the pressure from exploding.

Yoosung felt so impotent watching Saeran’s pain. He took a few steps towards the man before he stopped himself. He wanted to engulf him, pull him onto his lap, soothe him, kiss him, make it all better. But nothing he did would do that for Saeran, not now. Slow steady tears fell from his eyes out of frustration. He fisted his hands and pounded them on his thighs.

“Saeran.” He whispered.

Saeran jerked upwards and scrambled backwards, slamming against the headboard, holding one hand up as a shield against the blonde shaking his head slowly.

“Stay away from me!” his eyes were bulging, crazed with emotion and pain. Yoosung’s heart broke, it had been so long since one of Saeran’s episodes was this bad.

“Don’t come near me!” he screeched, “Just go away! Leave me alone! For god’s sake, just let me die! Please…just…let me go…” he ended in an incoherent sob.

The words wrenched Yoosung’s heart to shreds. He knelt by the bed but made sure to keep a small distance from the red head.

“You know I can’t do that.” He murmured softly.

Saeran shook his head, tears falling like a waterfall as he pulled his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling them close to his chest. He pressed his forehead against his knees and sobbed uncontrollably. He looked so small and vulnerable and Yoosung couldn’t help a vision of a young Saeran in this very position, wanting and needing desperately for someone to come and rescue him. It never happened back then, but things were different now.

“Why?” came Saeran’s small voice, hoarse with emotion as it was.

“Because I love you.” Was Yoosung’s simple answer.

Saeran’s head rose and met Yoosung’s gaze. Mint green eyes and Amethyst eyes, both filled with pain and torment. Saeran thought that that look should not be on such an innocent face and he hated himself for putting it there. Yoosung deserved better. He was such a good man, he didn’t deserve a lifetime of this bullshit.

“How could you love me? How could anyone? If you knew the things I’ve done.” He began.

“I do know…”

“NO!” Saeran screamed, “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! I KILLED V! DI YOU NOW THAT? AND HE WASN’T THE ONLY ONE! And I LIKEDit! I LIKED killing! I still have those urges…so tell me…do you still love me?” he’d crawled closer to Yoosung during the tirade, his eyes blazing with anger and something deeper. Yoosung fell back at the surprising onslaught of venom Saeran was spewing.

He caught himself and steadied himself on the floor before flinging himself on Saeran, the tears flowing down his face. He knew Saeran would try and hurt him, but he found he didn’t care. He needed to hug the man; it was the only thing he could do.

“Yes.” He whispered through his tears into Saeran’s ear. “Yes now, yes always. I love you Saeran, I forgive you Saeran. I just hope you can forgive yourself someday.”

Saeran’s eyes flew wide, his body rigid with shock. Blinking he squared his shoulders and tried to push the man away, to fling him far, to dislodge his touch, but he wouldn’t let go, his thin arms stronger than Saeran thought they could be.

“Get off! I don’t need your forgiveness! I don’t deserve it! I don’t need you!” his words were harsh, his efforts strong but losing strength as he went on, his struggles weakening along with his words. Yoosung held on tight, clinging to the red head as if he would float away once he let go.

“I love you. I forgive you. I love you. I forgive you.” He murmured over and over, rocking them back and forth on the bed.

Saeran’s defenses crumbled, breaking down as he sobbed on Yoosung’s shoulder, clutching the blonde afraid to let go.

They clung to each other, Yoosung’s continuing litany soothing Saeran’s fears. Once they had both calmed down Yoosung pulled back and wiped the tears from Saeran’s face, swiping the fringe of red hair out of his eyes. He couldn’t stop touching him, his fingers digging through his hair and stroking his cheeks and chin.

“I will always be here for you. You are never alone. Don’t ever wish for death again, please. You would be killing me as well.” He cupped Saeran’s face, making sure to meet his eyes and hold the gaze. “You are my life.” He breathed.

Saeran’s beating heart felt lighter and heavier at the same time. He no longer raged against the rotting thoughts in his head. He would never deserve Yoosung. He knew that.

“You will never let me push you away will you?” he asked, his voice breaking.

“Never!” Yoosung answered vehemently.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. You know I didn’t mean…I…” Saeran felt shame over his words and actions and looked away from the man.

Lifting his face, Yoosung ran his thumb along Saeran’s jawline, a soft smile on his face. He kissed his trembling lips and Saeran clutched at him, falling into him. Losing their balance, they fell right off the bed onto the floor crying out in surprise, Yoosung’s cutting out as his head bounced off the hard floor, a loud crunch echoing throughout the room.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god! Yoosung!” Saeran scrambled off him and gently helped him sit up. “I’m sorry babe. Are you ok? Yoosung? Talk to me.” He held him lightly, afraid he might hurt him more.

Yoosung laughed as he tried to soothe the growing bump on the back of his head.

“Wh…what’s so funny?” Saeran asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh yes…Saeran…you’re such a killer!” he giggled.

Saeran’s lips thinned out and he let go of the blonde, sitting back on his heels, a petulant look on his face, which only made Yoosung laugh even more before he winced at the pain on the back of his head.

“Serves you right!” Saeran snickered as Yoosung pouted. With a smile Saeran wrapped Yoosung in his arms, laying him down gently on the floor, being careful to cradle his head. His other hand traveled down his side right to the spot he knew was highly sensitive and began to mercilessly tickle the blonde.

“St…sto…op…!” Yoosung laughed hysterically

“Make me!” Saeran retorted, intensifying his efforts.

Yoosung reached up to Saeran’s shoulders, bucking his hips at the same time with enough force to flip the red head off him and rolled him over. He straddled the older man, pinning his wrists to the floor.

Surprised by the move, Saeran waited to see what Yoosung would do next. His heart beat frantically as he watched the blonde lick his lips. They looked luscious and tasty. The man leaned over and planted those lips on him, the kiss soft and slow, his tongue exploring his mouth gently, then more forcefully. A low moan escaped his throat as he arched his back, his hips rising and falling against him.

Yoosung ground against him, crotch to crotch as they both groaned in pleasure. Yoosung let go of his wrists and ran his hands down his arms and sides, then up his chest, his fingers digging into his flesh. Saeran wrapped his arms around Yoosung, pulling him down, crushing their bodies together. He slid his right hand up Yoosung’s back and buried his fingers into the tangle of blonde hair, his other hand traveled down his spine and over the curve of his ass and he squeezed his butt cheek. Yoosung reacted by groaning deep in his throat and grinding harder.

“I love you Saeran.” He breathed with desire heavy in his voice.

As they separated enough to take a few needed breathes Saeran met Yoosung’s hazy gaze, wishing with all of his heart that they could live in these moments, free of all the negativity that was a part of his life. Darkness was a part of him, and it would always be, but Yoosung kept the sun shining and the darkness at bay. Someday he hoped he would be able to do that on his own, but until then, he would thank whatever fates had given him Yoosung and allowed him to love.

“I love you too Yoosung.”


End file.
